can anybody help me?
Broccoli_rocks! asked:
Can anyone offer any constructive insight?
I’ve asked many a question about this man and nobody has of yet been able to offer me any sort of explanation of his behaviour; understandable, but I am getting quite to the end of my tether here.
We’ve been getting gradually closer since last September, and the past few months, we’ve been incredibly close. We tell each other everything, confide worries, secrets, share thoughts about our daily lives, laugh, and cry together (sounds dramatic, but it’s true).I was ill and he was a rock to me, making me laugh and texting me all day, every day trying to cheer me up and keep me going. If he gets down about anything, he phones me up and we’ll have a laugh and he’ll be fine again. He even sends me songs to say how much he appreciates me, and even wrote me a song the other day, I’m really happy we’re there for each other permanently, but I want to be near him.
Although we talk all the time, I was just feeling pangs of missing him (does that sound crazy?) because we’ve never spent any proper time together in person; although we’ve made numerous plans, they’ve all fallen through and we end up in a massive argument (mainly because of him cancelling!)
for instance yesterday, I was meant to go and pick him up from his home and I got quite lost, and by the time I got there it was a couple of hours after the time we’d agreed. It wasn’t my fault! (Damn route planner) but I did eventually arrive there. And when I got there, he text me saying “I’ve got things I need to do, it’s too late now, sorry”.
I was mortified, embarrassed, and hurt, especially as he continued texting me and it felt like he was laying a guilt trip on me saying there were things he hadn’t done because he was seeing me. I’m fed up of being treat like this when we arrange to meet up… he’s been seriously hurt before and is obviously emotionally scarred but so have I!, but yet I would never treat him like that.
He seemed to truly believe it was my fault because I was late and I tried so so hard to get there, even though it was late, and he knows I did.
I’m just so upset and I have no idea whether to just end our friendship right now and give up… only problem is, I think I was started to fall in love with him, as stupid as that sounds since we’ve never spent time together in person… but I know him inside out. Argh.
sorry… quick insight… the ‘things he needed to do’ annoyed me so much because he was actually meant to be staying over at my house so our plan wasn’t just for a few hours, so I didn’t ‘miss my time slot’, for want of a better phrase (if you understand what i mean!)
Can anyone offer any constructive insight?
I’ve asked many a question about this man and nobody has of yet been able to offer me any sort of explanation of his behaviour; understandable, but I am getting quite to the end of my tether here.
We’ve been getting gradually closer since last September, and the past few months, we’ve been incredibly close. We tell each other everything, confide worries, secrets, share thoughts about our daily lives, laugh, and cry together (sounds dramatic, but it’s true).I was ill and he was a rock to me, making me laugh and texting me all day, every day trying to cheer me up and keep me going. If he gets down about anything, he phones me up and we’ll have a laugh and he’ll be fine again. He even sends me songs to say how much he appreciates me, and even wrote me a song the other day, I’m really happy we’re there for each other permanently, but I want to be near him.
Although we talk all the time, I was just feeling pangs of missing him (does that sound crazy?) because we’ve never spent any proper time together in person; although we’ve made numerous plans, they’ve all fallen through and we end up in a massive argument (mainly because of him cancelling!)
for instance yesterday, I was meant to go and pick him up from his home and I got quite lost, and by the time I got there it was a couple of hours after the time we’d agreed. It wasn’t my fault! (Damn route planner) but I did eventually arrive there. And when I got there, he text me saying “I’ve got things I need to do, it’s too late now, sorry”.
I was mortified, embarrassed, and hurt, especially as he continued texting me and it felt like he was laying a guilt trip on me saying there were things he hadn’t done because he was seeing me. I’m fed up of being treat like this when we arrange to meet up… he’s been seriously hurt before and is obviously emotionally scarred but so have I!, but yet I would never treat him like that.
He seemed to truly believe it was my fault because I was late and I tried so so hard to get there, even though it was late, and he knows I did.
I’m just so upset and I have no idea whether to just end our friendship right now and give up… only problem is, I think I was started to fall in love with him, as stupid as that sounds since we’ve never spent time together in person… but I know him inside out. Argh.
sorry… quick insight… the ‘things he needed to do’ annoyed me so much because he was actually meant to be staying over at my house so our plan wasn’t just for a few hours, so I didn’t ‘miss my time slot’, for want of a better phrase (if you understand what i mean!)
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Sounds like he is stringing you along.
Best bet would be to either cut your losses, and find someone else (especially since he tries to blame you) – or give him one final warning, although it sounds like that would be a waste of effort.
Sounds to me like he has a wife or girlfriend that got home before you got there. he is probably just trying for the quick lay and then planning on kicking you to the curb. something is rotten in denmark. now that you know where he lives, maybe take a surprise visit by there and see what you can find out. he may be hiding something.
My mum had the same problem with her boyfriend he was always working and always cancelled arrangements. She kept on asking if she could meet his family but after a year of cancelled arrangements and never meeting his family she dumped him. You can’t truly get to know a person without spending time together it sounds like he needs to get his priorities right when he said it was too late to see you, he had things to do that was just wrong. It sounds to me like you both need to find some time maybe go out for dinner and talk through how you really feel, tell him how he upset he made you feel and that you want to spend more time together without cancelling again, if he really does love you he will listen and do his best to meet your needs and if not then you know hes not worth it and maybe you should re think your relationship.