Comments on: How am I suppose to plan my own wedding, with no help, at only 23 years old.while keeping a $5,000 budget? http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/ Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:15:40 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Vashti http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4641 Vashti Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:03:17 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4641 Take a deep breath! Since no one is helping, spend the money for the wedding planner. You can't do this yourself, so don't. Check around and interview the wedding planners in your area. Choose the one who you feel most comfortable with, because you're going to be spending a lot of time with her/him. You know you have $5,000. So, budget for that amount. If your father wants to have " a really nice event," so he can show off for the out of town relatives he better open his checkbook and pony up what you need. If his idea of a "really nice event" is the same as my husband's, you're looking at $100+ per guest, depending on where you live. If people want to be negative and judgmental, quit discussing your plans with them. Tell them, "I'm taking care of it," and refuse to discuss it with them further. The knot is a really good resource. You have to register, but it has a budget planner. You put in the number of guests & your budget and it tells you "about" what you should spend on various items. As far as bridesmaid dresses, don't worry about "making them happy, " because someone is going to biatch no matter what you do. Hit the mall and look at prom dresses at the department stores. You should be able to find something YOU like that will look good on your bridesmaids at a reasonable price. Keep an eye on them for sales & markdowns as well. Let them know what you're doing, because you might have to put them on hold and have them pay for them and pick them up within a 24 hour period. It's going to be fine. Get a planner to help you and it will come together. ((hugs)) Take a deep breath!

Since no one is helping, spend the money for the wedding planner. You can’t do this yourself, so don’t. Check around and interview the wedding planners in your area. Choose the one who you feel most comfortable with, because you’re going to be spending a lot of time with her/him.

You know you have $5,000. So, budget for that amount. If your father wants to have ” a really nice event,” so he can show off for the out of town relatives he better open his checkbook and pony up what you need. If his idea of a “really nice event” is the same as my husband’s, you’re looking at $100+ per guest, depending on where you live.

If people want to be negative and judgmental, quit discussing your plans with them. Tell them, “I’m taking care of it,” and refuse to discuss it with them further.

The knot is a really good resource. You have to register, but it has a budget planner. You put in the number of guests & your budget and it tells you “about” what you should spend on various items.

As far as bridesmaid dresses, don’t worry about “making them happy, ” because someone is going to biatch no matter what you do. Hit the mall and look at prom dresses at the department stores. You should be able to find something YOU like that will look good on your bridesmaids at a reasonable price. Keep an eye on them for sales & markdowns as well. Let them know what you’re doing, because you might have to put them on hold and have them pay for them and pick them up within a 24 hour period.

It’s going to be fine. Get a planner to help you and it will come together.

((hugs))

]]> By: bonniejoy http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4640 bonniejoy Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:52:04 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4640 take it easy! im 23 and im planning a wedding that is going to be 4 states away! and im doing it all myself. just stay calm. i know it can make you insane. my advice is that if you like something go with it and dont ask what everyone else thinks because no one will agree and it will make you crazy! just get a wedding planning book..maybe some do it your self books and serf the internet..thats all i did. good luck take it easy! im 23 and im planning a wedding that is going to be 4 states away! and im doing it all myself. just stay calm. i know it can make you insane. my advice is that if you like something go with it and dont ask what everyone else thinks because no one will agree and it will make you crazy! just get a wedding planning book..maybe some do it your self books and serf the internet..thats all i did. good luck

]]> By: Kat http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4639 Kat Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:59:26 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4639 This is what my fiance and I did when it came to money. We asked for sponsors. We told them to give us whatever they wanted or could afford whether it be $50 or $500. If they give you money then take it and be grateful for whatever they gave you. If you want to keep things simple then keep them simple, it's your wedding. And if your dad says, well I want things to look nice then that is when you can jump in with well how much can you and mom help me out with to make things nice, because on my budget things can be descent. Hopefully you will get an answer with that. As for your fiance tell him he needs to get on it about the catering and if he's not going to do it then to give you the info so you can get it done. I would also suggest having a wedding in a garden so you can worry less about decorations because nature is the best decoration there is. I would not suggest getting a wedding planner. That's a luxury if you could afford it and had a big budget, but you don't so I would say drop that idea. Talk to your family and tell them that you need there support whether it be going to try on dresses with you or going with you to taste the cake. If your bridesmaids are not on board with your ideas then I would say drop them. It is your wedding. If they are not happy with the dress then tough *&$#. Kick them out. I know they are probably good friends with you, but they should be on your side and willing to do what you want because it's your day. Who cares if there picky tell them to get over it. I can understand about the dresses, but a lot of places offer lay away and if you get on it they can pay their dress of quick before your wedding date. Also to cut down on some expenses invite only close friends and family to the wedding. Try and keep it to a minimum so you can save on chair cost. As for the reception then you can invite just friends and co-workers etc... I hope your family really helps you and gives you the support a bride needs during all this time of planning. They should be there for you and it seems like they dont want to be. I hope everything works out and I hope there was something I said that could help you alittle. Good Luck. This is what my fiance and I did when it came to money. We asked for sponsors. We told them to give us whatever they wanted or could afford whether it be $50 or $500. If they give you money then take it and be grateful for whatever they gave you. If you want to keep things simple then keep them simple, it’s your wedding. And if your dad says, well I want things to look nice then that is when you can jump in with well how much can you and mom help me out with to make things nice, because on my budget things can be descent. Hopefully you will get an answer with that. As for your fiance tell him he needs to get on it about the catering and if he’s not going to do it then to give you the info so you can get it done. I would also suggest having a wedding in a garden so you can worry less about decorations because nature is the best decoration there is. I would not suggest getting a wedding planner. That’s a luxury if you could afford it and had a big budget, but you don’t so I would say drop that idea. Talk to your family and tell them that you need there support whether it be going to try on dresses with you or going with you to taste the cake. If your bridesmaids are not on board with your ideas then I would say drop them. It is your wedding. If they are not happy with the dress then tough *&$#. Kick them out. I know they are probably good friends with you, but they should be on your side and willing to do what you want because it’s your day. Who cares if there picky tell them to get over it. I can understand about the dresses, but a lot of places offer lay away and if you get on it they can pay their dress of quick before your wedding date. Also to cut down on some expenses invite only close friends and family to the wedding. Try and keep it to a minimum so you can save on chair cost. As for the reception then you can invite just friends and co-workers etc… I hope your family really helps you and gives you the support a bride needs during all this time of planning. They should be there for you and it seems like they dont want to be. I hope everything works out and I hope there was something I said that could help you alittle. Good Luck.

]]> By: Pookie http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4638 Pookie Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:18:00 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4638 Get yourself organized, buy a binder and some dividers and make yourself a wedding binder, then have another folder or binder for all the receipts your going to be collecting. I think that once you organize your thoughts, youll be able to see clearly what it is that needs to be attended to right away, and start deligating. Tell your fiance that his job is looking into caterers, and ask him that if once a week on sundays between 3-4pm or maybe during dinner that you spend some time checking in on things about the wedding. He needs to help you, I had this problem with my fiance, and i finally told him he needs to step up and help. As for your bridal party, I have the same issue with mine, they are to busy to really help, and I know this so I just chose not to ask them anymore and find others in my life that are willing to offer there time to help. Set yourself up with a list of things that need to be done, and follow this by putting a rough estimate for costs beside each one, this will give you a good idea for a budget Slow things down, you more then likely have enough time to relax and try to enjoy this experience, if you dont you are going to loose it, so take a few deep breaths and re-organize your thoughts, ideas and plans As for your wedding day, things will unfold naturally, dont fret about the big day things yet, people will help clean up, people will help set up, and some things wont go as planned but it wil work itself out Get yourself organized, buy a binder and some dividers and make yourself a wedding binder, then have another folder or binder for all the receipts your going to be collecting.
I think that once you organize your thoughts, youll be able to see clearly what it is that needs to be attended to right away, and start deligating. Tell your fiance that his job is looking into caterers, and ask him that if once a week on sundays between 3-4pm or maybe during dinner that you spend some time checking in on things about the wedding.
He needs to help you, I had this problem with my fiance, and i finally told him he needs to step up and help.
As for your bridal party, I have the same issue with mine, they are to busy to really help, and I know this so I just chose not to ask them anymore and find others in my life that are willing to offer there time to help.
Set yourself up with a list of things that need to be done, and follow this by putting a rough estimate for costs beside each one, this will give you a good idea for a budget
Slow things down, you more then likely have enough time to relax and try to enjoy this experience, if you dont you are going to loose it, so take a few deep breaths and re-organize your thoughts, ideas and plans
As for your wedding day, things will unfold naturally, dont fret about the big day things yet, people will help clean up, people will help set up, and some things wont go as planned but it wil work itself out

]]> By: Liz J http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4637 Liz J Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:39:57 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4637 Based on your budget, I would do a civil ceremony (Justice of the peace). Afterwards, you could have a huge party by renting a cheap space (Knights of Columbus, Veterans Halls, etc) and stock it as you please (kind of how you mentioned before.) and inviting all your guests. This way, the bridesmaids don't have to worry about $ for a dress, you don't have to stress out as much, and everyone has a good time. If they insist on a "real wedding" you could have a officiant do the ceremony on site for you. If you want the bridesmaids to be able to afford a dress, you could just decide on a color and tell them to get whatever dress they desire (within their budget) as long as it's a specific color. They could even pull out a dress that they already own if it happens to fit your color scheme. As for the set up and break down of the reception site, you could ask the manager of the place where you decide to have your event if they have anyone who does all this stuff (setting up, breaking down, clean up etc.) Many placesd already include this in their service fee to you. If they don't, ask them how much it would be to get it done. (Usually $100 extra.) You don't want to have to worry about this stuff on your speacial day. If you want, you could also hire a "Day of Coordinaotr". You could run through your "day of plans" with this person and they will see that it gets done. This is cheaper than hiring a full out Wedding Planner. IAlso, if you rent a hall that allows outside catering, you can get great cheap catering and liquor from places such as Costco or Sam's Club. As for your dress, you could find a nice white dress it doesn't need to be a wedding dress per se. Check out Macys or other department stores. Also hit the sales racks. You never knnow! (Plus David's Bridal is always running a $99 sale.) This will save you tons of money and you won't need to rely on your family as much as you think you would. Based on your budget, I would do a civil ceremony (Justice of the peace). Afterwards, you could have a huge party by renting a cheap space (Knights of Columbus, Veterans Halls, etc) and stock it as you please (kind of how you mentioned before.) and inviting all your guests. This way, the bridesmaids don’t have to worry about $ for a dress, you don’t have to stress out as much, and everyone has a good time. If they insist on a “real wedding” you could have a officiant do the ceremony on site for you. If you want the bridesmaids to be able to afford a dress, you could just decide on a color and tell them to get whatever dress they desire (within their budget) as long as it’s a specific color. They could even pull out a dress that they already own if it happens to fit your color scheme. As for the set up and break down of the reception site, you could ask the manager of the place where you decide to have your event if they have anyone who does all this stuff (setting up, breaking down, clean up etc.) Many placesd already include this in their service fee to you. If they don’t, ask them how much it would be to get it done. (Usually $100 extra.) You don’t want to have to worry about this stuff on your speacial day. If you want, you could also hire a “Day of Coordinaotr”. You could run through your “day of plans” with this person and they will see that it gets done. This is cheaper than hiring a full out Wedding Planner. IAlso, if you rent a hall that allows outside catering, you can get great cheap catering and liquor from places such as Costco or Sam’s Club. As for your dress, you could find a nice white dress it doesn’t need to be a wedding dress per se. Check out Macys or other department stores. Also hit the sales racks. You never knnow! (Plus David’s Bridal is always running a $99 sale.) This will save you tons of money and you won’t need to rely on your family as much as you think you would.

]]> By: britts http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4636 britts Fri, 17 Jul 2009 20:37:31 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4636 oh my goodness it is for sure do-able . i did mine.. and stayed under the 5,000 i set.. more like just at 5000 (i was 19 when i got married just last october.) and my sister in law did hers under 5000 (she was around 19 or 20 i think too) try these websites =] oh my goodness it is for sure do-able .

i did mine.. and stayed under the 5,000 i set.. more like just at 5000 (i was 19 when i got married just last october.)
and my sister in law did hers under 5000 (she was around 19 or 20 i think too)

try these websites =]

]]> By: wannabequeenbe http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4635 wannabequeenbe Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:17:23 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4635 First off let me say. It's going to be okay. As a bridesmaid several times over I've gotten brides through rougher situations then this. Your friends and family love you. Have you pick a maid of honor yet? Décor says that a lot of the things you need to do are their job. It's their job to come with you and I'm not against hiring a wedding planner. I plan to. (Insert pun here) They take so much pressure off you and think of the little things that we forget. First the dresses, guess what, it's PROM SEASON! Yeah! Pretty dresses and they can spend as much or as little as they're comfortable with. If your friends are really picky then an idea is to go to a store, pick a color and tell them they can pick any dress with the specifications. Such as color, length, sleeves, then they get to pick the dress but you get the uniformity. But just ask for final say on the dress. Does that make sense? As for being bridezilla, it's okay you can be firm without going crazy. One of my friends had a day once a week that she and her fiancée' sat down and talked about wedding plans. She said it made it so easier on them as a couple because he knew that on this one day a week his mind needed to be focused on her and the wedding. The flower thing, use silk flowers! They cut cost and you can make the arrangements yourself. My sister and I did it as part of her bridesmaid’s party. The five of us sat around making all the arrangements and drinking and just talking. It was such a nice thing to do. I loved it and it made me really feel like a part of the wedding. As for organization Sam (not her real name but you know) and I sat down and wrote down EVERYTHING that had to be done and then assigned jobs to everyone. Wrote them notes on pretty stationary and they were more than willing to help. Sometimes people want to help but they don't know how to. I hope this helps. :D From a girl who could inspire 27 Dresses. First off let me say. It’s going to be okay. As a bridesmaid several times over I’ve gotten brides through rougher situations then this. Your friends and family love you. Have you pick a maid of honor yet? Décor says that a lot of the things you need to do are their job. It’s their job to come with you and I’m not against hiring a wedding planner. I plan to. (Insert pun here) They take so much pressure off you and think of the little things that we forget. First the dresses, guess what, it’s PROM SEASON! Yeah! Pretty dresses and they can spend as much or as little as they’re comfortable with. If your friends are really picky then an idea is to go to a store, pick a color and tell them they can pick any dress with the specifications. Such as color, length, sleeves, then they get to pick the dress but you get the uniformity. But just ask for final say on the dress. Does that make sense? As for being bridezilla, it’s okay you can be firm without going crazy. One of my friends had a day once a week that she and her fiancée’ sat down and talked about wedding plans. She said it made it so easier on them as a couple because he knew that on this one day a week his mind needed to be focused on her and the wedding. The flower thing, use silk flowers! They cut cost and you can make the arrangements yourself. My sister and I did it as part of her bridesmaid’s party. The five of us sat around making all the arrangements and drinking and just talking. It was such a nice thing to do. I loved it and it made me really feel like a part of the wedding. As for organization Sam (not her real name but you know) and I sat down and wrote down EVERYTHING that had to be done and then assigned jobs to everyone. Wrote them notes on pretty stationary and they were more than willing to help. Sometimes people want to help but they don’t know how to. I hope this helps. :D From a girl who could inspire 27 Dresses.

]]> By: fattefoxxe http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4634 fattefoxxe Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:52:34 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4634 i'm at work, so i don't have time to read everything, but here's my advice: resist the urge to do anything elaborate. keep things extremely simple. have the ceremony and the recepetion in the same venue. serve appetizers, instead of a full meal. have one signature drink, instead of an open bar. make your wedding a celebration of love, and not some monstrous occasion designed to impress people. if you impress them, do it by having a tastefully executed simple affair that allowed people to spend a day talking and laughing and dancing and socializing with other people, and wishing you well in your marriage. when you're older and you have the funds, you can have another wedding--the one of your dreams. for now, be true to who you are right now. don't ruin this experience by attempting the ill-advised. create a clear vision of an elegant, simple affair, and work it. i’m at work, so i don’t have time to read everything, but here’s my advice:

resist the urge to do anything elaborate. keep things extremely simple. have the ceremony and the recepetion in the same venue. serve appetizers, instead of a full meal. have one signature drink, instead of an open bar.

make your wedding a celebration of love, and not some monstrous occasion designed to impress people. if you impress them, do it by having a tastefully executed simple affair that allowed people to spend a day talking and laughing and dancing and socializing with other people, and wishing you well in your marriage.

when you’re older and you have the funds, you can have another wedding–the one of your dreams. for now, be true to who you are right now. don’t ruin this experience by attempting the ill-advised. create a clear vision of an elegant, simple affair, and work it.

]]> By: 2kool4u http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4633 2kool4u Sat, 11 Jul 2009 07:36:50 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4633 Take a trip to Las Vegas and get married in one of those drive-in places. It's just as legal and will cost you a lot less. Take a trip to Las Vegas and get married in one of those drive-in places. It’s just as legal and will cost you a lot less.

]]> By: just me! http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/comment-page-1/#comment-4632 just me! Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:55:26 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/how-am-i-suppose-to-plan-my-own-wedding-with-no-help-at-only-23-years-oldwhile-keeping-a-5000-budget/#comment-4632 sweetie have you ever thought about eloping? just the two of you? its much easier, no one but yourselves to please, and if no one is willing to help you out i would give it serious consideration. for your money you could have a wonderful elopement/honeymoon and to heck with everyone else who doesn't want to be bothered. sorry but thats what i would do! and if anyone complained about it i'd have no problem telling them why! sweetie have you ever thought about eloping? just the two of you? its much easier, no one but yourselves to please, and if no one is willing to help you out i would give it serious consideration. for your money you could have a wonderful elopement/honeymoon and to heck with everyone else who doesn’t want to be bothered.
sorry but thats what i would do! and if anyone complained about it i’d have no problem telling them why!

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