I am SO stressed out with wedding planning, what do i do?
janecat asked:
I’m under a mountain of wedding plans. Once I think I’ve accomplished a load, a million more things come up. I feel like it’s never-ending, and I’ll keep getting stressed out until the point I’ll want to elope. We’re not doing anything too special. Just something to include all the family- 100ish people. I’m trying hard to focus on the marriage, but let’s face it, a wedding is a production and if you want family involved, you have to do it. I spend so many hours on the phone and in meetings. We’re almost out of money. I can decorate the reception hall or get a wedding planner. We have a site coordinator, so I don’t know what the “wedding planner” would do. I just don’t want to have to worry about anything the day of. 3 months until wedding, and I’ve dreamed about it every night for a week. I can’t get all these things out of my head. What do I do? Thanks for reading
Eloping isn’t an option, as thousands are already invested…of my parent’s money.
I’m under a mountain of wedding plans. Once I think I’ve accomplished a load, a million more things come up. I feel like it’s never-ending, and I’ll keep getting stressed out until the point I’ll want to elope. We’re not doing anything too special. Just something to include all the family- 100ish people. I’m trying hard to focus on the marriage, but let’s face it, a wedding is a production and if you want family involved, you have to do it. I spend so many hours on the phone and in meetings. We’re almost out of money. I can decorate the reception hall or get a wedding planner. We have a site coordinator, so I don’t know what the “wedding planner” would do. I just don’t want to have to worry about anything the day of. 3 months until wedding, and I’ve dreamed about it every night for a week. I can’t get all these things out of my head. What do I do? Thanks for reading
Eloping isn’t an option, as thousands are already invested…of my parent’s money.
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CALL IT OFF!!!
Save your money for a down payment on a house and go to a JP. Problem solved.
calm down, wedding planning is very stressful. The key is to figure out what is most important and concentrate on those things. Try not to sweat all the small details as they often go unnoticed.
A wedding planner will actually plan out all your little details, a sit coordinator will make sure everything at the reception goes according to plan. You should be just fine without a wedding planner…save the money
My last piece of advice would be ask for help, ask your maid of honor, mom, bridesmaids ect so help you out with things. good luck hun!
Boy, do I feel you! My fiancé *says* he wants to help with the wedding planning ~ but really, he just wants to give an opinion. *I* am the one who has done *all* of the research, made the phone calls, signed contracts, kept us organized ~ I wouldn’t resent being the one to take charge if I didn’t have to go to him for approval. I mean, of course he should have some input, but he should also do some of the dirty work, right?
I hate it when I search for days for the right caterer, color or whatever & then he doesn’t like my choice ~ I tell him, “fine, find something better.” But he never does, I mean he says he will look, but he doesn’t. So I search all over again, because I don’t want to leave anything to the last minute. Argh!
When I get this stressed out over all of this… I buy a bottle of cheap tequilla (cause I certainly can’t afford the good stuff now, lol!) & make super strong margaritas. I swear, by the time everything is said & done, I will be drinking the tequilla straight & won’t even need the lime juice or triple sec!
Not the healthiest way to relax, but it sure does the trick
Best of luck to you … hope your 3 months go by quickly & your wedding day is wonderful =)
first, don’t worry. Break it down, one thing at a time. Stressing just makes it worse, things will just fall into place. You can only do so much, but try to tone it down a little what’s the big hype for? For you or your friends and family? I think it’s for just for you guys, everyone else is just there to see you happy… not stressed out. if all else fails…. Burn one
The wedding coordinator the day of the wedding will make sure your timeline runs according to plan. Ask him/her what they are willing to set up for you. I work at a banquet hall, and our policy is that as long as it’s fully assembled, we will set it out, but if it needs to be assembled on site, you need to have someone there the day of to do it. For example, if your place cards are folded and in alphabetical order, then we will set them out. If they need to attached to anything and/or they are not folded, then you would need to have someone there to do it.
But that’s just where I work. Again, talk to someone where you’re having the reception to confirm what they will and will not do.
You really need to recruit your family and friends to help you out with some things, especially as you get closer to the day of the wedding.
One word of advice: you can plan your A$$ off, but the day of the wedding, you have to let go and enjoy it. If the roof caves in on the church, you get married in the parking lot. If the cater doesn’t show up, you order KFC. If your DJ no shows, have someone run home and get a boom box and a case of CDs. There are certain things you can’t control, so you just have to let it go. These are of course EXTREME examples, but get what I mean.
The worst thing that happened at our wedding was that the wick of the unity candle fell down inside the oil lamp, and my sister in law had to hunt down a paper clip to try to fish it out. She was gracious enough to keep it all from me until after the wedding.
The worst thing that happened at the reception was that I was supposed to bring the CDs for our first dance and for the father daughter dance, because our DJ didn’t have them. I forgot them, so we had to improvise. No biggie. We did our first dance to our second choice (an Elvis song my husband likes) and the DJ had a different version of “As Time Goes By” for my dad and me, just not the artist I like.
I COMPLETELY understand as I will be getting married in July – and approximately 300 miles away from my home! It sounds like that your wedding is actually “small”, not intimate in size.
I have three CLOSE friends/family member’s friends who are surrogates; I lean on them heavily — I delegate, delegate, delegate. Everything from stuffing invitations and handling RSVP’s (when they come in) – they’re doing it!
I’m not hiring a wedding coordinator as such; but having those three people coordinate aspects (ie: one will oversee running of the reception place only; the other will oversee the wedding itself, etc.)
One piece of advice: Take one day off a week and don’t focus or work on anything wedding. Pamper yourself with soothing music, facials, long hot baths, connect with the fiance’ — after all, he is the one that you are going through all of this for. Can’t take a whole day off? Take 2-3 hours off – no calls from MOH, BM; no emails answered or phone calls made – no exceptions
You will make it through this!!! Focus on the big picture of marriage, not the “show” of a wedding — and I’m talking to myself just as much as I am sharing this with you….Good Luck!
I went thru that, my fiance told me to drop everything he took me on a 4 day weekend trip to the poconos, no phone calls no wedding talk, just the 2 of us relax get massages and sleep eat and sleep. we didn’t even have sex. It was just time to relax.
i think what you should do is just forget about the wedding for one week. do something fun by yourself or with your boo just the 2 of you and unwine. sometimes you just need a break.
I got married 6 months ago, and we had the whole traditional white wedding which we planned in 9 months, and i agree, there is ALOT to think about. It’s a big significant day in your life, and of course you’re going to have it at the front of your mind all the time.
BUT my best advice to you, is to calm down, look at what needs to be done (I found that lists helped) and keep it all as simple as you can. Don’t let anyone else overcomplicate it, everyone has an opinion and you cannot please everyone, your only obligation to them is to make sure that they’re comfortable on the day.
At our wedding, my husband also ended up really sick, so we missed most of our reception and wedding dinner, and in hindsight all that stuff didn’t really matter, we were married, we were happy and if the reception hadn’t gone ahead at all it wouldn’t have made a scrap of difference to all that.
There were a few little small things on the day that went wrong, but in all honesty, anything you’ve forgotten to organise doesn’t really matter, no one notices!!!
Try to enjoy yourself, keep it simple, and congratulations!
Just breathe!
I am in the same boat.
The best thing is to make a list of things you need to accomplish, and work at them one at a time.
Everytime you stress about it, take a huge breath, and just think about how wonderful it will be.
It is a VERY stressful thing. I have about the same amount of people (seems to be getting higher each day!), and we are almost double our initial budget. I was freaking out, but after talking to my fiance, I realized I was freaking out just a tad too much about things I can’t control.
We had a free wedding planner ( a company friend). She was supposed to put lists together of vendors in our price range together, so that we wouldn’t have to look for them all our self. She didn’t do her job at all. but thats what they are supposed to do, also give you a budget of what you should be spending on what. Also keep you on track. With just 3 mos left, I would save your money.
Hang in there, you can do it. Just talk to your fiance, and maybe he can calm you down when you get stressed. Mine does wonders with that.
It will end: about 3 days after the wedding. You’ll get through it. Just remember to BREATHE!
Hire a wedding planner or just do it very small. Thats what me and my husband did. We just had a few family members at the church and didnt decorate and after we got married my mom had us a nice little reception. I was happy with my small wedding the only ppl dressed up (in wedding attire) was me and my husband. and i wasnt wearing a wedding dress it was like a evening gown! sorta
Hey.
Wedding plans are stressful, you need to take some time off from all the wedding stuff.
I am also getting married this year, my fiance and myself have a few days break when we do not mention the wedding.
Please feel free to contact me for any assistance you may need with your wedding =)
Jennifer L. McCrackin
Design Director and Principle Planner
QuickCare Event Planners
(813) 382-7723