http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/is-this-a-good-story-so-far/ Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:04:24 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/is-this-a-good-story-so-far/comment-page-1/#comment-4984 Azerathian Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:12:49 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/is-this-a-good-story-so-far/#comment-4984 The whole Nosy Lizabeth and Spoiled Danice thing, while describing their personalitys, doesn't seem like the kind of nicknames a 5'th grader uses. I'm in 9'th, so I was there, well, kind of recently. And in the kinder-garden scene they were talking kind of like teens. And then also, maybe it's just me. I like Anna's pets, Dog the cat, and Cat the dog! Cute! I don't think their parents ages were necessary information, really just the siblings needed that definition. The note-passing scene is cool, but it seems like all of that would have taken longer than the time a teacher would take to write something on the board. Maybe you could insert a pause, while the teacher turns back, and then the next note would be passed when the teacher was next distracted, to make it seem a bit more realistic. 1-10, I'd say 7 and a half. Keep up the good work! The whole Nosy Lizabeth and Spoiled Danice thing, while describing their personalitys, doesn’t seem like the kind of nicknames a 5′th grader uses. I’m in 9′th, so I was there, well, kind of recently. And in the kinder-garden scene they were talking kind of like teens. And then also, maybe it’s just me. I like Anna’s pets, Dog the cat, and Cat the dog! Cute! I don’t think their parents ages were necessary information, really just the siblings needed that definition. The note-passing scene is cool, but it seems like all of that would have taken longer than the time a teacher would take to write something on the board. Maybe you could insert a pause, while the teacher turns back, and then the next note would be passed when the teacher was next distracted, to make it seem a bit more realistic. 1-10, I’d say 7 and a half. Keep up the good work!

]]> http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/is-this-a-good-story-so-far/comment-page-1/#comment-4983 I love Valek [[Fire Study]] Fri, 10 Jul 2009 03:02:56 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/is-this-a-good-story-so-far/#comment-4983 i could only read some of it, and its good. but the only problem i have is that you're making 1st graders sound like 8th graders. if you hadnt said that part about anna being in pre-k, i wouldve thought it was a book about teens. i could only read some of it, and its good. but the only problem i have is that you’re making 1st graders sound like 8th graders. if you hadnt said that part about anna being in pre-k, i wouldve thought it was a book about teens.

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