Please help, My Mom is having problems with my little sister?
My Step Mother is starting to have problems with my little sister Emily regarding her behavior. Emily is almost eleven and is in fifth grade. Prior to this grade Emily loved school, performed well, was organized (wrote all assignments in her planner and kept binders organized) and took an active interest in many after school activities such as gymnastics and dance.
As of her fifth grade year, Emily began having problems with a little girl in her class named Micah. Some of the problems were that when Emily was in gym class Micah got really angry at her for not choosing to be Micah’s partner even though Emily was asked to be another girl’s partner first. Micah is just kind of rude to Emily and rolls her eyes at her for things. This behavior makes Emily feel that she’s done something wrong to hurt Micah’s feelings and apologizes to Micah even though she has done nothing wrong.
This problem has made Emily afraid to go to school when she used to love it. She says to my step mom every morning that she has stomach cramps and is sick so that she won’t have to go to school. It’s making my step mom have to struggle to get Emily to go to school every morning. (Emily’s school is very small and she is unable to transfer to another fifth grade class because in her school, there is only one fifth grade class).
Other problems began happening as well. In addition to Emily being afraid of school, she has also not been able to stay focused enough to do her homework. For example, my step mom told Emily in the morning not to stay for chorus after school that day because she has other stuff to do. But Emily chose not to listen (or didn’t hear her) and stayed for chorus anyway. Emily wasn’t able to complete her homework on time and had to do more in the morning which she argued about. On the ride to school Emily had some religion work to do but she spent most of the ride staring out the window. She never used to have trouble focusing.
Emily has also developed a fear of things such as clothing because she thinks that because one time she wears a certain shirt and has a bad day, it’s because the shirt is bad luck so she won’t wear it.
As for organization, Emily claims that a voice in her head (she said she doesn’t actually hear a real voice but I guess it’s just her conscience) says that she shouldn’t write in her planner or put papers away correctly when she never had a problem with this before.
My step mom feels like Emily has completely changed from how she was before this year. I feel that she might need a counselor but we’re having a hard time finding one. I think it may also be hormones but I’m not sure.
Sorry to write such a long letter but if anyone could find some solutions to what to do to help her and my step mom because it’s really really stressful for her. Thanks
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she should get counseling, then try a new school
I completely understand I have a daughter who is 11 years old a 5th grader and I always tell my daughter to ignore the students who are disruptive or if they have threaten to hurt her then she needs to go tell the teacher and if that doesn’t work, then she needs to go to the front office and speak to someone there. Now in this situation I’d go and talk to the counselor @ the school. Have the mother talk to the counselor with student. Then bring in the other little girl and get all straighten out. Then your sister should start ignoring her so she doesn’t feel like that. It sounds as if she has anxiety facing the situation.
I don’t know how old you are but you seem to write out the problem very well.
Here is what I would do as a parent. Speak with the teacher about this problem and tell the teacher how this is affecting your sister. It seems this other little girl has a set of her own problems and needs some help in class or counselor as well. The school counselor maybe the first step here. I would definitely try and see what can be done at school with these two little girls.
It also sounds like there is more to this behavior than what you know. Does your sister have a good relationship with the step Mother or her father? Sometimes it is so hard to figure out things. If you can build up your relationship with your sister, she probably could really use a sibling on her side.