easypeasy86 asked:


Sometimes I wonder if it’s suppose to be like this. How much help did/are you guys get/getting when planning your wedding. With my small budget, I don’t even know if it can be done! I have the perfect venue…but it’s the kind where you get the venue, tables, chairs…and that’s it for 8 hours. It’s good because we are able to stock our own bar and don’t have any limitations as far as catering and things like that go…but even though my family and fiance SAY they will help, every time I try to talk about it (and maybe I am starting to talk about it too much but if I had a sense of safety knowing that they will pull through when needed I wouldn’t feel the need for these constant reminders) but no one seems to want to go there. I am a bit overwhelmed. My bridesmaids are all busy with their own lives, many like me, have small children and are barely making it by in this sluggish economy so I feel bad asking for much. I mean, as far as the girls go I’ll be lucky if they will put out much more than $60 for a dress. (And they are all very picky, but I’m trying to make them all happy.) I guess what I’m saying is how is it all going to pull through? I’m a crafty and artistic individual, so I’m know I can get the centerpieces and style aspects done very cheaply yet chic (I’m going with a rustic, vintage kind of farmhouse feel…) but as far as how everything is going to be put in place the day of, set up, taken down…I don’t want to be doing it all myself on the day of. I will do a lot, but I can’t do it all! My fiance and all his friends, I know, will take care of the sound and DJ-ing aspects because they all do that on the side. My fiance also works with many people with catering connections….but isn’t really doing much but asking for names and not following through with finding out websites or prices…

I guess, what I am asking is, how do I approach everyone without seeming like a “bridezilla”? I mean, I really know that I CAN do it, but another factor is that my parents are doing what they can to pay for things…but not really giving me a budget and every time I suggest something they ask me…but how is this going to happen on the day of? Whose going to take care of it? (They suggested this whole ‘real’ wedding thing as well, just so you know. I never expected them to want to pay for my wedding. I always figured it would be a courthouse thing…) I don’t know these answers if no one is willing to put a little more effort into it!!! I will suggest something like, well we could hire this wedding planner that charge $300 for 40 hours of service. (Which includes some hours for dress fittings or taste testings or plain old seating charts and things like that before the day…and then the rest of the hours are for the day of. You know, helping things rudysfunctionalthat everything is set up, delegating jobs, making sure the time line runs appropriately. That after I “exit” that things get cleaned up.) But every time I suggest this to my (quite disfunctional family, honestly) they act like, “Are you kidding me, you want to spend $300 on having someone do what?” Who do they think is going to do all this?

I guess I just need some advice…opinions…ways to approach this situation. I’m about to loose my head. Sometimes I feel like calling it off. The other side of it is, when I try and make cheap shortcuts, like suggest having no flowers,relativestain drinks…general things you can do to trim costs…my father in particular reminds me that we have family coming from all around the world (I am from England originally and we have realtives across the country as well coming.) and that he wants it to be a really nice event. I don’t think anyone realizes that it’s how smoothly things run, how organized it is…that is what is going to make for the best time! The glitz and glam come last to me…I would rather make sure there is a nice place, good food, drinks and no one running around wondering what to do and whose suppose to do what?! UGH.
Thanks Wifeforlife, but I wasn’t asking whether or not you thought I was ready for marriage.

Thanks to everyone else though! There are very helpful suggestions and sites to work with!