Comments on: The bride assumes me to be a “free labor” for her wedding? http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/ Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:41:11 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Terri http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4735 Terri Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:04:06 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4735 Well what did you agree or offer up to do? If your offer was not to transport plants, then state that you work that day and can only do so much, so she'll have to find another transporter. Well what did you agree or offer up to do?

If your offer was not to transport plants, then state that you work that day and can only do so much, so she’ll have to find another transporter.

]]> By: A Nonny Mouse http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4734 A Nonny Mouse Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:42:17 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4734 Just tell her with your work schedual you are unable to 'volunteer' for the task...she will have to find some one else....if she fusses politely point out that you have cost-of-living expenses and she does not supply your paycheck...your job does. Since you don't mention being in the bridal party...the above advice goes double...good luck. She sounds like trouble Just tell her with your work schedual you are unable to ‘volunteer’ for the task…she will have to find some one else….if she fusses politely point out that you have cost-of-living expenses and she does not supply your paycheck…your job does.

Since you don’t mention being in the bridal party…the above advice goes double…good luck. She sounds like trouble

]]> By: lunchbox http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4733 lunchbox Sun, 26 Jul 2009 02:42:47 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4733 It's not really right that she assumed you would help. She should have asked you first. However, when you accept being in someone's wedding, you usually accept that you are going to have to help that day...which may me taking off of work even for a half a day. It’s not really right that she assumed you would help. She should have asked you first. However, when you accept being in someone’s wedding, you usually accept that you are going to have to help that day…which may me taking off of work even for a half a day.

]]> By: Luna http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4732 Luna Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:49:11 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4732 yea i don't like how some brides start to equate bridesmaid with slave.... they can still ASK for help, say PLEASE, and most importantly say THANK YOU!!!! it seems like she missed something in here... like the asking part! how about is there another "task" on the list that you would be better able to do? maybe something that is closer to teh wedding time or after the wedding so your work schedule isn't interupted? might be easier going if you ask her to switch tasks then just cancelling. but either way, she didn't even ask... i'd let her know in some way your unhappy and would of appreciated being asked first and that this task does not work well for you. yea i don’t like how some brides start to equate bridesmaid with slave…. they can still ASK for help, say PLEASE, and most importantly say THANK YOU!!!! it seems like she missed something in here… like the asking part! how about is there another “task” on the list that you would be better able to do? maybe something that is closer to teh wedding time or after the wedding so your work schedule isn’t interupted? might be easier going if you ask her to switch tasks then just cancelling. but either way, she didn’t even ask… i’d let her know in some way your unhappy and would of appreciated being asked first and that this task does not work well for you.

]]> By: Future Mrs. Beasley http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4731 Future Mrs. Beasley Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:35:53 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4731 i would call her and say "are you asking me to do that plants? " if you really don't mind doing it, then just say yes that's fine, but that she hurt your feeling by not asking. simple as that. if you don't want to, then don't. it was rude of her to assume, so I'd probably say no, if I wasn't that close. i would call her and say “are you asking me to do that plants? ” if you really don’t mind doing it, then just say yes that’s fine, but that she hurt your feeling by not asking. simple as that. if you don’t want to, then don’t. it was rude of her to assume, so I’d probably say no, if I wasn’t that close.

]]> By: callingmrsjones http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4730 callingmrsjones Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:51:20 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4730 I think that she should have politely asked you if you would be able to help with a few things and tell you what she needs help with. I don't like the brides that dump a bunch of crap on their bridesmaids and just expect them to do it because she said so. I think that she should have politely asked you if you would be able to help with a few things and tell you what she needs help with. I don’t like the brides that dump a bunch of crap on their bridesmaids and just expect them to do it because she said so.

]]> By: "Shakes" http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4729 "Shakes" Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:30:29 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4729 If you're in the wedding party, you need to suck it up and do your duty because you agreed to be her support system for the day. . If NOT, then just be honest with her and tell her it's not workable for you and likely will cause more problems than not, because your day is too booked. I don't know what you mean by "free labour" do you expect to be paid for this? If you’re in the wedding party, you need to suck it up and do your duty because you agreed to be her support system for the day. .
If NOT, then just be honest with her and tell her it’s not workable for you and likely will cause more problems than not, because your day is too booked.
I don’t know what you mean by “free labour” do you expect to be paid for this?

]]> By: happy heart http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4728 happy heart Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:45:40 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4728 If you have made the comment...If I can help you let me know? This is her way of answering you. If you really won't have time to do the task of transporting...ask her if she has a male friend that might could handle this for you. I do weddings and men are much better at going and picking things up like this....good luck If you have made the comment…If I can help you let me know? This is her way of answering you. If you really won’t have time to do the task of transporting…ask her if she has a male friend that might could handle this for you. I do weddings and men are much better at going and picking things up like this….good luck

]]> By: MissE http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4727 MissE Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:20:36 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4727 I would say if it is in the line of work you do professionally to sit her down and say, Look there is a conflict of interest. This is what I do for a living. I'll be glad to do it BUT I would have to consider it work and thus charge you, I will charge you less than I would at other events but still. I would say if it is in the line of work you do professionally to sit her down and say, Look there is a conflict of interest. This is what I do for a living. I’ll be glad to do it BUT I would have to consider it work and thus charge you, I will charge you less than I would at other events but still.

]]> By: Jeanne B http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-4726 Jeanne B Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:32:26 +0000 http://www.perfectdayplanners.com/blog/the-bride-assumes-me-to-be-a-free-labor-for-her-wedding/#comment-4726 This is a challenging situation. On the one hand, it was audacious of her to assume you could take this on. So, declining to help because of work could be related to her tactfully. If you do this, be generous with your apologies for not being able to help, and be sure your gift and card are just a little bit better than they would have been if you were to help with the plants. Another way to handle this is to tell her about your work, but let her know you can carry "X" number of plants in your car, if that will help her with her plans. If it seems she expects you to place the plants where she wants them, be sure to ask her for a diagram of the hall so you can do your best to place them where she wants them. Then buy some thin (cheap) plastic sheeting to protect the seats of your car from wet plant stains. Note: in neither scenario did I recommend you confront your friend about her arrogance and assumptions. Even though she should have asked you if you could, or would, help, don't return her lack of good manners. This is a challenging situation. On the one hand, it was audacious of her to assume you could take this on. So, declining to help because of work could be related to her tactfully. If you do this, be generous with your apologies for not being able to help, and be sure your gift and card are just a little bit better than they would have been if you were to help with the plants.

Another way to handle this is to tell her about your work, but let her know you can carry “X” number of plants in your car, if that will help her with her plans. If it seems she expects you to place the plants where she wants them, be sure to ask her for a diagram of the hall so you can do your best to place them where she wants them. Then buy some thin (cheap) plastic sheeting to protect the seats of your car from wet plant stains.

Note: in neither scenario did I recommend you confront your friend about her arrogance and assumptions. Even though she should have asked you if you could, or would, help, don’t return her lack of good manners.

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